His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
