Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
