My room smells like vodka and shame
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
