when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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