You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
