wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
