I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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