He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize