the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
