Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
