Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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