i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
