Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
