This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
sex in a hospital.. check
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
