He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize