So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Randomize
