I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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