Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
