Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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