I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
