You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
