do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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