Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
