I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
