hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
