remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
