what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
