If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
