do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
