It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
