I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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