Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I want a musical about memes.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
