eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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