I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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