I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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