just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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