Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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