Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
