No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
