Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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