I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we made out on top of his cat.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We are two peas in an std pod
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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