then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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