Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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