so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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