I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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