So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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