Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize