There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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