chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
