D3 body, D1 cock
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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