He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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