Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
