Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
