i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
