I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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