i don't like sucking hair
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
