Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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