His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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