so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
