You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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